Rachel Weaver - The Untold Stories Initiative

Rachel Weaver grew up in South Side, Chicago surrounded by people that looked like her. As she decided to start her educational journey at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, she knew it wouldn't be an easy ride.

Watch or read about Rachel's experience as a black woman in Utah.

"Like me coming from an urban environment, I needed BSU. I needed to see black people in a group, a minimum of once a week.

My name is Rachel Weaver I am from the south side of Chicago, I am like a convert to the church, that's also a big part of like who I am. I came to BYU because God told me to that is solely it because I got into Spelman College down in Atlanta, which is an HBCU, and my whole family had dreamed of me going there my whole life and I had to. Then I became a member, and I was like 'wait BYU though'.

So I applied to both got into both and then I prayed about it. I was like Spelman would help me to like, expand upon my black experience, I'd be around like black excellence is about like empowering like become educated wealthy black people or BYU where I'll be around no black people, but I'll be around a bunch of people who have the same faith as me and my faith is really important. And so I had to pray and God was like good BYU, so I did.

But I knew when I knew that I was coming here, I knew what I was getting myself into I didn't, I wasn't like naive and didn't think that I wasn't coming to this super white place, no I knew. I knew that I was going to be a super minority I knew that I was gonna have to look long and hard to find people that look like me. And so I feel like coming in I was pretty guarded. Because I was aware of the situation I was walking into and I had heard a lot of stories from other people about how difficult you can be as a black person.

Back home like even if I was around white folks all day I went home to black family right like I didn't go home to black family anymore. For me, that was really hard mentally and like for my confidence as well. It was hard for me to feel like I mattered because I didn't see anyone that looked like me. I didn't feel like what I looked like was valued in the eyes of like Utah Provo culture.

I learned a lot like about other cultures like that was really good for me I was able to kind of be humbled because I thought that I knew so much about like being socially aware and whatever and then I was like, No, you know your experience you don't know everyone's experience. So that was a really like positive thing I think that came through my freshman year that I learned that I can always learn, no matter where I'm at, that there's always space to improve no one's Jesus Christ like no one arise. So that was really good.

Me, a lot of times I can't speak for all black people but I just want to be normal here in Provo, no matter where I go I'm not normal. Because of my hair. I'm sorry. Everywhere I go, I just love your hair. I just love your hair. I love your hair. I can't go anywhere without no one saying nothing to me. Like I can go home and walk around, I love going to the South-Side, I just stand in the grocery store, no one says nothing to me, I love it.

Boys and dating?

Oh, Goodnight.

We have to talk about dating because this Provo, it’s BYU. I got to talk about dating. I said hold the phone, hold the phone. Trash Trash. I had a boy Tell me like you're cute but you're black, like you're black, like, like you're cute you're black, like, that's really real that's the like so really so for me. That's why I'm like I joke with the white men thing but I'm dead serious. White men make me nervous, white men make me nervous because they've been like the perpetrators of like a lot of problematic comments to me in the church, and like, hurt my feelings a lot with dating.

I know black men feel this more than black women do in Provo. Like they feel like objects to white women. And because they feel like they want to date them they want to kiss them. They don't want to like to bring them to their parents. I like BYU a lot. I love so many things about the school. Do I dislike, some of the policies? Yes. Do I really dislike some of the people? Yes, but that doesn't mean that the overall institution is terrible and that my overall BYU experience should go to trash. Like I want to tell my kids about BYU, and I want them to feel like, like I feel like BYU is my campus. I feel like it's a place that I can go to. Do I feel welcomed? No, but am I still going to tell my kids that it was a place that I felt like I could go to and that they should go to. Yes, I'm not going to tell my kids not to go here but I will make them aware of what they will be getting themselves into, and then they can make that choice for themselves.

Allow yourself to have your own experiences and don't let past blacks experience define you and where your BYU experience is going to be. Because you do that, you're gonna do what I did my freshman year and hold yourself back and not allow it give your hundred percent in meeting new people who don't look like you are who aren't ethnic.

Then negatively affects the younger generation coming in like freshmen right like freshmen who come to BSU if they've never really experienced anything bad at BYU, and then all the upperclassmen are like telling them really hard things about BYU I'm like, oh, how are they now suppose it gives them full selves to the experience if you told them that they are going to have time. I think you can make them aware like hey, you know, we're here to listen whenever something happens but go to that event, go do that. So that you can like see for yourself what happens.

I think the first thing for me when I'm taking away from BYU is that you can love people who are different than you. I think that that is a skill that every person needs to learn like coming to BYU just solidifies like, you can love people that don't look like you that don't talk like you, that don't even think like you."

Photo Credit: Samantha Stone